Source: UX Collective

The art of communicating without actually speaking

Article written by Damini Nair, Intern at Heart It Out, Bangalore

Most of our communication is nonverbal, some are aware of it and some are not. According to experts, we respond to thousands of non-verbal cues and behaviour patterns on a day to day basis, from handshakes to eye contact. Non-verbal communication tells us who we are and how we relate to others. Knowing how to understand and interpret the different nonverbal cues can develop into a skill that could positively impact your communication abilities and this can be achieved by practice. Body language is persistent in any field whether it is relationships or interviewing or interrogating a suspect or person

The Truth Is Written On All Our Faces

— Cal Lightman, Lie to Me, Season 1

Do you believe that actions speak louder than words? Have you noticed certain behavioural patterns or expressions during a conversation that convey something completely different from the words spoken? Well, that’s what non-verbal communication/body language (the terms will be used interchangeably in this article) is. It refers to those aspects of communication, such as gestures and facial expressions, that do not involve verbal communication (words) but which may include nonverbal aspects of speech itself such as, accent, tone of voice, speed of speaking, etc (Collins English Dictionary). Did you know that your body can convey a lot more information than the words you use and that the cues are mostly instinctive rather than conscious?

Pro-tip: Your body never lies! What’s there in your mind is projected by your body unconsciously. It’s a fact that when you’re having a conversation or interacting with people you tend to give out verbal as well as receive wordless signals. Your gestures, posture, voice tone or even eye contact send a strong message. Even when you’re silent or not speaking you are still communicating certain information or messages. Have you said ‘yes’ to a party but you did not sound excited? The listener may have sensed that in the tone of your voice, and painted you as a dishonest person in their mind. Understanding and identifying non-verbal cues can help in enhancing your communication skills.

Is non-verbal communication important?

Well, Yes. It is definitely important. Why? Well, it can improve your interpersonal relationships, confidence as well as your communication skill (Segal et al., 2021). When your non-verbal actions match the words you speak, it increases trust, rapport and clarity. A mismatch between the two can create confusion, misunderstandings and mistrust. To communicate effectively, it is important to not only be sensitive to the body language and non-verbal cues of others but also your own.

Understanding body language — SkillsOnBoard

According to Edward G. Wertheim, in The Importance of Effective Communication, there are 5 roles non-verbal communication can play-

• Repetition- it repeats and strengthens the information/message you’re expressing verbally.
• Contradiction- the message you’re conveying can be contradicted, which could indicate to the listener, you are not truthful.
• Substitution- it can play a role of a substitute for verbal messages. For instance, your gestures can convey far more vivid messages/information than the words you use.
• Complementing- it could add on or act as a complement for verbal information. As a leader, a thumbs up or shaking hand as a form of praise can increase the impact of your message.
• Accenting- it can help accent or underline any verbal information. Stomping your feet can have an underline message. (Wertheim, 2008)

It is believed that skilful communicators can understand the importance of body language and use that knowledge to enhance their effectiveness.

Two important areas where nonverbal communication is widely used

Interpersonal Relationships: According to research, only a fraction of verbal exchange is witnessed in interpersonal communication, whereas 70–90% (Tiwari, 2015) is non-verbal cues. In interpersonal relationships, words usually communicate the objective of the message whereas non-verbal signals reveal one’s emotion and attitudes that are vital to any kind of relationship or bond. For example, walking or moving around the classroom during discussions or lectures reduces physical distance or expressing through facial expressions and voice tone portrays enthusiasm and creates openness between the teacher and student.

Forensic Settings: In relation to criminal behaviour, non-verbal cues play an integral part in association with deception (yes, lying:P). Certain behaviour patterns coupled with body language can be indicative of deception. The most common non-verbal cues that are associated with lying are-

• Avoiding eye contact or Touching your nose or any part of the face
• Clearing one’s throat or swallowing one’s saliva or Sweating
• Another interesting fact- when a person lies they tend to look in one direction for a fraction of a second along with compressed lips that convey that something is bothering.
• During interrogation, signs like leaning backwards crossed hands and fidgeting with a finger or leg do convey- hiding something or resisting themselves from disclosing any information. (Emerson, n.d.)

Business — Insider, How to Tell Someone’s Lying by Watching Their Face

OMG, there are so many types!

I know right! There are so many types of body language that need to be noticed and kept in mind. Well, these various cues are what would help you enhance your communication skills and make you a professional communicator!

Examples of Body Language: Recognize Nonverbal Cues

1. Facial Expressions- This is the most widely used form of non-verbal cues. It is believed that your face is the most expressive part of your body. “The Truth Is Written On All Our Faces’’, whether it is emotions or feelings. Six forms of expressions are universal, which are happiness, disgust, sadness, fear, surprise and anger.
2. Body Movements and Posture- Have you noticed the way people walk, sit or stand and wondered why is it that they walk, sit or stand in a certain way? Well, the way we walk or sit is perceived in a certain way by many individuals and does communicate certain messages. For instance, if you carry yourself well, you’re perceived to be a confident person.
3. Gestures- When you argue or interact with another person, you would have noticed gestures like pointing your fingers, waving or using your hands a lot. Gestures unlike facial expressions are not universal. The sign of ‘OK’ made by your hand is offensive in countries like Russia, Germany and Brazil, however, it indicates a positive message in English-speaking countries. Therefore, be cautious when you use certain gestures.
4. Eye Contact- The most important form of non-verbal communication. Your eyes or the way you look at someone can convey a lot of information, such as confidence, affection, interest or even hostility. Eye contact would even help in building up a conversation or even establish that you are interested and are a good listener.
5. Touch- When you’re touched by someone, you do understand what the person is trying to communicate and whether it is a good or bad touch. Try to reflect on what kind of messages a weak handshake, a warm tight hug, a pat of the shoulder or a controlling grip on your arm can convey.
6. Space- Have you ever felt discomfort when someone is standing too close to you even though there is ample space elsewhere? Personal or physical space is an important aspect, we all need it and when someone invades that discomfort is aroused. With the help of physical space, you can communicate a great deal of information, feelings or thoughts, for instance, signals of aggression, dominance, affection or intimacy.
7. Voice- As the famous saying goes, “It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it.” When words are spoken people tend to interpret your voice along with listening to your words. What people notice within your voice are the pace and time, whether you’re speaking too loud or too soft, as well as the sounds that convey understanding like ‘ahh’, ‘hmm’ or ‘uh-huh’(Segal et al., 2021).

When you communicate with your body language or non-verbal cues, it affects how other individuals see you or understand you and your characteristics. However, there are times when these cues can go wrong and can convey a wrong message. Therefore, it’s important to put conscious effort into knowing about your body language and how to use it.

Interpreting/reading body language is confusing but fun!

Interpretation of body language is similar for every individual, here’s a small guide to help you get started!

saylordotorg.github.io, Principles of Nonverbal Communication

• Eyes convey a lot, pay attention to that- as mentioned earlier, eye or eye contact can communicate a lot more information. Even if someone is smiling from the outside, their eyes could communicate their hidden feelings- sadness/loneliness. Persistent eye contact indicates- an interest in the conversation and if their movement of the eyes is in a different direction (looking towards the door) it means they are not interested or would like to end the conversation.
• Posture cues can be observed- for instance, if a person is leaning forward, towards you, with broad shoulders would convey that they are interested in the conversation or are open to information or ideas are given by you. If they are leaning backwards, away from you, it could mean the opposite or would be undergoing emotions like anger.
• Arm and leg position should be noticed- I’m sure most of you would have noticed, if the arm is placed on the table or the armrest of the chair and the leg is evenly placed, it is considered to be an open style, where the person shows interest and readiness to grasp the information you’re providing. On the contrary, if the arms are crossed or their palm placed on their face and if their legs are crossed it would indicate they are experiencing some negative feelings or emotions.
• Look at the signals as a group: when you try to interpret only one of the non-verbal cues, it could convey different things. So try to group most of the non-verbal cues to achieve a better understanding of what the person is trying to convey. Notice the eye movement along with the voice tone and gesture for better communication.
• Trust your gut: your instinct is predominantly accurate, if your gut feels that someone is not being truthful or something is not right, you may be noticing a mismatch between verbal and non-verbal signals.

You won’t be a pro overnight, it comes through practice. You will have to consciously put in an effort into noticing and interpreting these cues, it is assured that it will help you become an efficient communicator.

Body Language: Can it be improved?

Sometimes our non-verbal cues or body language can end up communicating something that’s not appropriate or what we intended. To avoid sending a misleading message, you can try to improve your body language! Once that improvement is done, you could even call yourself a good communicator!

Here are a few realistic and practical ways in which you can go about doing this:

• Monitor your body language- each week just remember situations where you used certain types of body language. For instance, during a meeting how was your voice tone, body posture and did make eye contact with everyone in the room. If you lack any type of non-verbal cues try improving them. If you lack eye contact, go out on the street and try making eye contact with people you meet, it will help boost your confidence.
• Understand what emotions are affecting your body- emotions can affect you both physically and mentally. If you’re feeling anxious how does your body respond to that? Does your stomach become tightened? Do you rub your hands together a lot? Do you fidget? Being aware of these aspects will help you to improve your external presentation.
• Put conscious effort into understanding your body language as well as others- whenever you’re having a conversation, just pause and notice what body language you are portraying. Are you conveying what you’re intending to? Try to also make note of the same for the other person. If you feel any mismatch, talk to them and understand what they are going through. If needed provide your support and assistance also.

This can seem a little overwhelming, I get it. However, it can help enhance your communication skills, become more self-aware and observant. Yes, most non-verbal cues are unconscious, but with a little effort, we can see the impact it has on our interactions and perceptions.

References

Cherry, K. (2020, July 27). Types of Nonverbal Communication. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-nonverbal-communication-2795397

Emerson, R. W. (n.d.). A FORENSIC PSYCHOLOGIST’S GUIDE TO BODY LANGUAGE. Forensics Colleges. https://www.forensicscolleges.com/blog/resources/forensic-psychologists-guide-to-body-language franchetti, s. (2014, November 28). Loud & Clear: The True Impact of Nonverbal Communication. Franchetti Communications. https://franchetti.com/loud-clear-the-true-impact-of-nonverbal-communication/

Lumen. (n.d.). Nonverbal Communication: Chapter 4. Lumen Interpersonal Relations. https://courses.lumenlearning.com/atd-hostos-interpersonalrelations-1/chapter/nonverbal-communication-chapter-4/

Marono, A., Clarke, D. D., Navarro, J., & Keatley, D. A. (2017). A Behaviour Sequence Analysis of Nonverbal Communication and Deceit in Different Personality Clusters, Psychiatry, Psychology and Law, 24(5), 730–744. DOI: 10.1080/13218719.2017.1308783

Segal, J., Smith, M., Robinson, L., & Boose, G. (2021, October). Nonverbal Communication and Body Language. Helpguide. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm#:~:text=All%20of%20your%20nonverbal%20behaviors,you%27re%20trying%20to%20convey

Stephens, C. (n.d.). NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION. Theforensicteacher. http://www.theforensicteacher.com/Free_articles_files/NON_verbal.pdf

Tiwari, A. K. (2015). NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION-AN ESSENCE OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT WORKPLACE. Management Insight, 11(2), 1–6.

The Ultimate Guide To Nonverbal Communication Skills. (2021, February 17). Indeed Career Guide. https://in.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/nonverbal-communication

Wertheim, E. G. (2008, October 10). The Importance of Effective Communication. Wordpress. https://ysrinfo.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/effectivecommunication5.pdf